HOW TO SING
Music Director K: "Sing very loud until you get to the end of 'repose'."

Grade Teacher: "I want you to give me a sentence containing the word notwithstanding."
Bright Boy: "Johnny's trousers were worn out not with standing."

Principal S. (in physiology): "What is myosin?"
Agnes H.: "Myosin is the poisoning of food in a tin can."

Inquisitive Junior: "Howard, why is it that little Elliott boy, so much younger than you, is ahead of you in school?"
Howard: "I dunno; I s'pose his folks is smarter'n mine."

High School Teacher to Class: "This is the worst recitation we've had in a long time. I've done three-fourths of it myself."

THE FLUNKER AND HIS FATE
Chews gum,
Annoys neighbors,
Never studies,
Nightly loafs,
Ever cuts up,
Down and out!

Grade Teacher: "I want everyone of the class to name some wild animals, beginning with Johnnie."

Miss K. (in botany): "If an onion has annual rings, the same as in a perennial like the oak, what must it be?"
Katherine S.: "An onion."

Second Grade Boy, in reading: "The horse was goin'."
Teacher: "Don't forget the 'g,', Johnnie."
Second Grade Boy: "Gee, the horse was goin'."

Commercial Teacher: "When you have sold merchandise, do you put it on the debit or the credit side?"
Practical "Mollie," who drives the Schimmel: "I put it on the delivery wagon."